Category Archives: IT Funny

The Useless Web

Ah, the Internet. A place where most people can do their job a lot faster. A place where people can express also whatever the heck they feel. I’m one of those people. Plus some give or take more or less skills.

The birth of this Website

was mainly to express some frustrations while working as a software engineer, but also to report some findings my colleagues find during this endeavour.

Useless

That’s a word it has a very good meaning. For most of the people, quite the opposite, but, damn, when you’re useless you are funny (sometimes).

To the point then :

You have to click 2-3 times for the javascript to work.
You have to click 2-3 times for the javascript to work.

A colleague found The Useless Web

An awesome site (of which gave me the idea of a trolling based context site), contains 1 javascript which after each click gets you to a

Completely Useless, Pointless, (and sometimes Offensive) Site.

Author is Tim Holman and I quote what he says:

The Useless Web… because some websites, we just couldn’t do without.

Damn right! Some sites in there are PURE GOLD.

 The Staggering Beauty

Move cursor violently and you'll see the beauty behind this ugly  worm like being.
Move cursor violently and you’ll see the beauty behind this ugly useless worm like being.

And classics such as “Is it Christmas?

This one I think the guy also changed it. Now it resolves your IP and responds in your language :D.

Useless you say ?

Well I got one more step further. Below you will find all the sites featured in the master site , of which I got them from his source code.

Have fun 😀


var sitesList = [
['http://heeeeeeeey.com/', false, 7],
['http://cant-not-tweet-this.com/', false, 7],
['http://eelslap.com/', false, 5],
['http://www.staggeringbeauty.com/', false, 7],
// ['http://www.omfgdogs.com/', false, 7], Down :(
['http://burymewithmymoney.com/', true, 7],
['http://www.fallingfalling.com/', true, 3],
['http://ducksarethebest.com/', false, 7],
['http://www.trypap.com/', false, 4],
['http://www.republiquedesmangues.fr/', false, 7],
['http://www.movenowthinklater.com/', false, 6],
// ['http://www.hristu.net/', true, 6], Down :(
['http://www.partridgegetslucky.com/', false, 6],
// ['http://hectorsalamanca.com/', true, 5], Big fat donate button
['http://www.rrrgggbbb.com/', true, 7],
['http://beesbeesbees.com/', false, 3],
['http://www.sanger.dk/', true, 4],
// ['http://www.idiotic.com/', true, 7], Down :(
['http://breakglasstosoundalarm.com/', false, 3],
['http://www.koalastothemax.com/', false, 7],
['http://www.everydayim.com/', false, 7],
['http://www.leduchamp.com/', true, 7],
['http://www.geodu.de/', false, 4],
['http://www.haneke.net/', false, 7],
// ['http://instantostrich.com/', true, 7], Lame banner
['http://r33b.net/', true, 6],
['http://randomcolour.com/', false, 6],
['http://cat-bounce.com/', true, 6],
['http://www.sadforjapan.com/', true, 5],
['http://isitchristmas.com/', false, 5],
// ['http://infinitefrogs.com/', false, 5],
['http://www.taghua.com/', true, 5],
['http://chrismckenzie.com/', true, 6],
['http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/', false, 5],
['http://ninjaflex.com/', false, 4],
['http://iloveyoulikeafatladylovesapples.com/', true, 6],
['http://ihasabucket.com/', false, 4],
// ['http://www.feedthehead.net/', true, 5], Iphone banner
['http://corndogoncorndog.com/', false, 4],
// ['http://www.oppositeofpoop.com/', false, 4], Down
['http://giantbatfarts.com/', true, 4],
['http://www.ringingtelephone.com/', true, 6],
// ['http://chickenonaraft.com/', false, 4], Went down.
['http://www.pointerpointer.com/', false, 4],
['http://www.pleasedonate.biz/', false, 5],
['http://imaninja.com/', false, 3],
['http://willthefuturebeaweso.me/', false, 3],
['http://salmonofcapistrano.com/', false, 3],
['http://www.ismycomputeron.com/', false, 5],
['http://www.ooooiiii.com/', true, 3],
['http://www.wwwdotcom.com/', false, 3],
['http://www.nullingthevoid.com/', true, 6],
['http://www.muchbetterthanthis.com/', true, 5],
['http://www.ouaismaisbon.ch/', true, 3],
// ['http://cutmeoffmidfunk.com/', false, 4], Down now
['http://iamawesome.com/', false, 3],
['http://www.pleaselike.com/', false, 7],
['http://crouton.net/', false, 3],
['http://corgiorgy.com/', false, 3],
// ['http://www.clicktoremove.com/', false, 3], Lame external link
// ['http://dastardlydigitofdestiny.com/', false, 3], Sloooow
['http://www.electricboogiewoogie.com/', true, 6],
['http://www.nelson-haha.com/', false, 6],
['http://www.wutdafuk.com/', false, 6],
['http://unicodesnowmanforyou.com/', false, 3],
['http://tencents.info/', false, 3],
['http://intotime.com/', true, 4],
// ['http://haveahairymovember.com', false, 4], Broken
['http://leekspin.com/', true, 3],
['http://minecraftstal.com/', false, 4],
['http://www.riddlydiddly.com/', false, 5],
['http://www.patience-is-a-virtue.org/', false, 2],
['http://whitetrash.nl/', false, 2],
['http://www.theendofreason.com/', false, 2],
['http://zombo.com', true, 1],
['http://secretsfornicotine.com/', true, 1],
['http://pixelsfighting.com/', false, 1],
['http://crapo.la/', false, 1],
['http://baconsizzling.com/', false, 1],
];

P.S. Browse the above sites with your own consent.

Patience is a virtue!

Indeed. If you do not have Patience, you’re gonna get old really fast.

A greek proverb and in our line of work :

Please Wait - Most do, but there are @!#$holes!
Please Wait – Most do, but there are @!#$holes!

It’s true! Most people do wait when you prompt them. But there are also exceptions. In our line of work this happens a lot.

“Uhm, there is a wait screen…It says ‘Please wait, do not go back or cancel the waiting screen or your transaction might fail’… I clicked back, have I purchased the product?”

Again and again and again!

or, another client once said:

“I click the update button while the page loads, and it does not update!!!”

and to our dearest Project Managers:

“Come on, you have 1 day to rewrite the whole app, it is more than you need… You are a <<Ninja>> dev..”

Those people should be served with this page to see that Patience is a virtue :

http://www.patience-is-a-virtue.org/ until they learn the value of WAITING! (in a different context) :

Waiting…

Anger! Unlimited, Unmetered ANGERRRR!

Developer Anger!

Developers often face situations where logic bends. Now this happens quite a few times. Suppose we have an equation with factors that the outcome of this equation is the “bending logic”.

The first factor, and larger at times is the client input. “Yes, we know we asked for that, but now things have changed, so we have to change it” , “What? I did not ask for a red line drawn with a blue pen!” and so on. More on that at The Expert.

The second factor is the programming language we are using. And that is the point were we stand for now.  Third and fourth factors is experience and capability but those are irrelevant on each person so, we wont be discussing them now.

ANGER. WRITING CODE THAT SEEMS TO WORK.

Quite recently I stumbled upon this interesting site :

http://www.commitlogsfromlastnight.com/

Turns out that this guy: @abestanway is parsing repos from github and records each curse in the commit log message. A commit log message is a message we developers use when we are completing a project/code snippet/change/bug in the code of a system we are using.

This guy, took it to another step also. He gathered data and created a presentation, showing the languages with the most curses. He even created graphs of the most cursed and least cursed language:

Curses / Language
Curses / Language

As you can see, Javascript is the first. Undoubtedly this language is the most widely used, so it makes sense for it to have the most curses (and yeah many other stuff you already know like changeling scopes and other Javascript shitty stuff).

He also created graphs with the most used curses:

See that Fuck prevails all!!
See that Fuck prevails all!!

Next, he compared the Most Cursed languages with the most used languages in Github. You can have a look at all the above from the relevant video :

Therefore :

ANGERRRRRRRRRRRR
UNLIMITED ANGERRRRR!

To conclude he points out that the more the curses, the better the code…